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Having a baby in the NICU is one of the most difficult experiences a parent can go through. It’s so important to support these parents in appropriate and helpful ways.
I’m sure most of you know already that my daughter Josephine was born with a rare birth defect called Pierre Robin Sequence. As a result of her condition, she had a lot of difficulty breathing and feeding for the first few weeks of her life, so she spent that time in the NICU.
My husband and I went to visit her in the hospital every day. The back-and-forth travel and spending hours and hours away from home every day really took its toll on us. But at the same time, we were astounded and overwhelmed with gratitude at the number of people who reached out to us and offered to help in any way they could.
If someone you love has a child in the NICU, you might be wondering how you can support them during this difficult time without overstepping any boundaries. Here is a list of helpful gifts or acts of kindness that the NICU parents in your life will truly appreciate. (I know I did!)
1. Help with household tasks
When Josie was in the NICU, Edgar and I usually spent at least 8 hours a day visiting her at the hospital, not including travel time. Then when I got home, my entire night was consumed with pumping milk to bring to the hospital the next day. We were both so mentally, physically, and emotionally drained that household tasks became nearly impossible. Offering to take some of that mental load off a NICU parent’s shoulders would be a real godsend for them. You can offer to grocery shop, cook some freezer meals, check on their pets while they are away from home, or even babysit older kids so they can focus on their new baby or have some much-needed rest.
2. Gift cards
Another way to support a NICU parent with day-to-day life is by buying them a gift card. An Amazon gift card is always great for restocking the necessities! You can also give them a gift card to a local restaurant for an easy dinner, Starbucks for some much-needed caffeine, the hospital cafeteria for lunch, or a gas card to help with transportation expenses. A friend of mine actually blessed us with money to cover date night for me and my husband after we left the hospital one night. It was amazing to go to a nice restaurant and spend a little quality time with my husband during all the turmoil.
3. Entertainment
NICU parent life is so stressful and draining. It’s like an emotional roller coaster. But in between all the stress and worry, there are often slow moments where all you can do is sit and wait. During those times, it’s nice to have something to keep your mind occupied and off your worries. Some good friends of mine actually sent me a care package consisting of snacks and adult coloring books. Those coloring books were a wonderful fun distraction. Another good gift would be puzzle books like sudoku or crosswords.
4. Healthy portable snacks
I’ll admit it – I’m a stress eater. My daughter’s NICU stay was one of the most stressful periods of my life. I didn’t feel like cooking most of the time, so I turned to fast food and unhealthy snacks to keep myself going. Eating so much junk definitely made me feel even worse. When my friends sent me a care package full of healthy snacks, it really made my life a lot easier and made my body feel better too. This box full of healthy treats was one of the best gifts I could have received.
5. Nice hand lotion
NICU parents are constantly washing their hands to prevent germs from reaching their baby. This hand washing and sanitizing can lead to dry cracked skin. So another helpful gift to support a NICU parent would be a bottle of unscented moisturizing hand lotion.
6. Books to read to baby
Edgar and I would read to Josie every day at the hospital. It didn’t matter what we were reading. We just wanted her to remember the voices of her mommy and daddy. If you have a friend with a baby in the NICU, give them a book (or book subscription) to read to their little one.
7. The Birth Poster
I just think this is an adorable gift idea for any new parent, especially the parent of a preemie! It is an illustration of a baby that is personalized to be the same size as your newborn at birth (1:1 scale). In the future, it will allow the new parents to remember how little their baby once was and how far they have come. Josie wasn’t a preemie but I still want one of these to compare her size between then and now.
8. Personalized or handmade baby gift
There are a few shops on Etsy where you can purchase personalized baby blankets and personalized stuffed animals. These gifts would be so comforting and make the sterile, scary hospital environment much more pleasant. Even better, you can make a gift with your own two hands! My great aunt crocheted a beautiful purple baby blanket for Josie, and it’s a keepsake that I will always cherish.
9. NICU baby book
When I was pregnant I planned on purchasing a sweet baby book from Amazon, but unfortunately most traditional baby books don’t apply to a NICU situation. Luckily there are a few baby books on the market that are made especially for NICU babies. This one looks particularly cute and has great reviews. I wish I had had this book when Josie was still in the hospital!
10. Be there
Above all, the greatest gift you can give a NICU parent is your friendship and emotional support. Allow them to vent, cry, and air their frustrations without judgment. And just keep checking in (without being pushy, of course). Remind your friend that you’re there if they need you. It’s good to know that you have a friend to lean on in your darkest moments.
Have you had a child in the NICU? What was the most meaningful act of kindness that someone performed for you during that time? If you have any other ideas on how to support a NICU parent, please leave them in a comment!
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